Moving to New York wasn’t easy. When I first got the news from my parents that we had to move, I got overwhelmed by different emotions: I was excited about a new beginning, but at the same time I was sad because I had to leave my wonderful country and say goodbye to a piece of my life, and scared because I didn’t know what to expect from that day and on.

I was the only one in my family fluent in English and that put a lot of pressure on me because from that moment and on, my family would rely on me for many things that required the use of the language. We didn’t know a lot about New York City: from the many different movies that we watched, we knew that the city offered a lot of opportunities, it had a diverse population and high skyscrapers. For the first few months, our relatives helped us a lot by finding a place for us to move in, register to school, and explained to us how American society works. However, we tried not to change our lifestyle, so as not to lose our European background and make this significant change a little more bearable.

We lived in a small town in the middle of Italy, and moving to such a big and diverse city was a great deal. Both I and my sister used to go around alone, dine outside, and go home late without any problems because everybody knew everybody. Here, instead, we have determined hours to go outside, and we have to always report to our parents where we are. Also, we had and still have to pay attention to the way we speak because Italians are pretty loud. Most of the people who speak or understand Italian here are Albanians that lived in Italy for a short while. The thing is that they adore repeating words or sentences that Italians say or make dumb comments about the attitude or the tone used. I found all of this annoying and suffocating because I felt like my freedom was being taken away. At the same time, I was lost because I had a lot in my mind, from school to the pressure of the expectations of being the eldest of three children and the only one who could help my parents with anything.

After the firsts few weeks, while trying to get used to the climate and the American lifestyle, schools began. It was awkward and stressful. After all, I started my 11th grade here, which resulted to be an important year in high school. I worked hard to improve the English that I learned on the internet and in my old school. Also, I had to quickly adapt to the new school system and make sure that I didn’t fall behind with the material and prepare for the exams. As the school year went by, I made a lot of great friendships with my classmates, teachers, and school staff. I got involved in many extracurricular activities, such as volunteering and dance club, and helped students who had a difficult time understanding some school materials. This engagement with the school helped me by relieving my stress, especially because there were a lot of students that were going through a similar situation as mine and I felt more at ease since we could relate and help each other with more ease. Also, not long after I started my junior year, I started working for the first time in a deli and it helped improve my English. At first, I struggled a lot with understanding others because of their accent, in fact, I wasn’t able to get the orders on the phone, but with time, I improved a lot. In fact, I started to answer the phone and understand what the clients want. I felt great because I realized the big improvement. In the meanwhile, I got to learn what it means to have a job and how to manage time and money more wisely that I used to do before. Also, I got to buy what I and my two siblings needed, and manage to save for college. This experience made me more responsible and more confident because I continuously challenged myself on doing something new even though I wasn’t asked.

The same thing goes for my senior year but with a little different because of the changes that the pandemic bought with it, but overall I made wonderful memories even in this difficult time. In the end, my dedication and effort were acknowledged, and got to be a valedictorian for both my junior and senior year, and got my advanced diploma with excellence in science.

My parents are from Albania but they moved to Italy in their twenties and thirties, and that is where I and my siblings were born and raised until we moved here. It happened at different times that a few students and teachers were racist towards me just because of my background, even though my family was highly respected and I was always polite to them. This type of racism became strong when I started high school, where the teachers did not give me the grade that I deserved. Also, I had a teacher call me “The Albanian”. These events made me change myself because I wanted to fit in their standards, but I was lucky enough to have wonderful friends that made me understand that I should be myself and speak up. In NYC, people always acknowledged my background and never showed that kind of racism. They don’t care about from where you’re from, but about your ability to pave your way to your achievements. I like this mindset because the city gives opportunities to everyone, as long as they give their best and reach the top with excellent results, opening a whole new world to those who can do that.

By this time, two years had already passed, and I still did not get used to New York City’s lifestyle. People are always rushing from a place to another, to then disappear somewhere during those few days they have off. Moreover, they seem to have a specific agenda that makes them human clocks, like Zadie Smith points out in her essay “Under the Banner of New York”. In fact, it often happened that I used students as a clock to understand whether I was late for school. Not to mention public transportation, always packed with people who may get rude to others for not giving them space and citing the U.S. Constitution for justifications: some people are just disrespectful and some others are patient and polite. This difference made me question what does affect their behavior, and I came to a conclusion: since the city is considered to be a melting pot, I believe that culture, traditions, and ideas play an important role in someone’s attitude toward this world because many backgrounds collide with each other. This diversity made me appreciate the city and got me more curious about the different cultures and their mindsets that the city has to offer.

“It is easy to see the beginning of things, and harder to see the ends.” (Didion, Joan “Goodbye to All That”). I love this quote because it makes me think about my residence here. It all started with an idea of what starting a new life would like, but it was difficult to predict where I would be by this time. The beginning was stressful, challenging, and I was highly nostalgic for my old life. I often wanted to go back to Italy and refused to see the good part of this place and only point out its defects. Only during these days, I started to see New York in another way. I always wanted to study abroad because I wanted to have more opportunities than others, and thinking about where I am now, made me realize that I’m in the perfect place that gives me everything I need in order to be able to accomplish what I want. I’m appreciating more the diversity of the people and what comes with it, crowded places, parks full of dreaming kids… I’m realizing that here each day will be different and thrilling. Thinking about it twice, this is a great opportunity for me to challenge myself on doing things that perhaps would not have been able or would never do if I had been in another place. I hope that I won’t change my perspective toward the city and that I will be able to understand more New York. However, I may leave this place after I complete my studies and move back to Europe because I’ll feel more at home and ease since I can go back to my old lifestyle. After all, I’m glad where I am right now. For the time being, I will focus on school and work hard for the future that I desire. Also, I hope to visit my country once the actual global situation permits.